This Chair By Appointment

I like a barber shop. It’s one of those places where things make sense, where there’s no subterfuge or duplicity. Guys are getting their hair cut; besides some conversation to pass the time, that’s all that’s going on. No one tries to sell you something you didn’t come in for, nothing you didn’t know you needed. The arrangements may involve subjectivity, but when you’ve been getting the same haircut for so many years, there’s zero temptation to be impulsive anymore.

When I finished college in 1986, I wandered the wasteland of hair salons for 5 years. Then my brother recommended this place in 1991. Since then, every haircut I’ve gotten has been in this simple but perfect barber shop; except one, because I needed a haircut when I was traveling. Best guess, about 150 haircuts in 27 years, all in the same chair. And 3 generations of the same family have been my barbers there.

In a world rushing headlong into an inscrutable maelstrom of change, I cherish continuity, simplicity, and the extraordinary gift of someone who knows what you like and appreciates a joke. I double dog dare you to name a better place to find that than a barber shop.

Night of Fear and Loathing

In recognition of the anniversary of The Night of Fear and Loathing, November 8, 2016, I have renewed my membership the the American Civil Liberties Union.

Impeach Trump

That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years.

Don’t Look!

Happy Eclipse! It made me glad to see people join together outdoors, across the country, to watch. I think it’s good whenever humans join in peace for any purpose greater than their opinions.

This was an event for everyone; old and young, rich and poor, and literally from sea to shining sea. I think it’s amusing though, to call it the Great American Eclipse. Leave it to Americans to take national pride in something that’s not even happening on this planet.

I want to send a big thumbs up and a sincere attaboy to the president of the electoral college, Clown Prince Covfefe. Not to be outdone by the sun and the moon, or let a day go by without a blunder, he took off his protective eye-wear and squinted right up at the sun.

One galactic yellow ball of gas staring at another, locked in a battle to see which blinked first.

Way to go, babyhands. We all look forward to seeing how this turns out for you.

 

Ha ha ha ha ha. Moron.

Trump Eclipse

Resolution of the City of San Francisco

It makes me proud to be a Californian. [Link]

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors recently passed a resolution, introduced by Board President London Breed, in response to the election of Donald Trump. The resolution reads as follows:

 

WHEREAS, On November 8, 2016, Donald Trump was elected to become the 45th President of the United States; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That no matter the threats made by President-elect Trump, San Francisco will remain a Sanctuary City. We will not turn our back on the men and women from other countries who help make this city great, and who represent over one third of our population. This is the Golden Gate—we build bridges, not walls; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we will never back down on women’s rights, whether in healthcare, the workplace, or any other area threatened by a man who treats women as obstacles to be demeaned or objects to be assaulted. And just as important, we will ensure our young girls grow up with role models who show them they can be or do anything; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That there will be no conversion therapy, no withdrawal of rights in San Francisco. We began hosting gay weddings twelve years ago, and we are not stopping now. And to all the LGBTQ people all over the country who feel scared, bullied, or alone: You matter. You are seen; you are loved; and San Francisco will never stop fighting for you; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we still believe in this nation’s founding principle of religious freedom. We do not ban people for their faith. And the only lists we keep are on invitations to come pray together; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That Black Lives Matter in San Francisco, even if they may not in the White House. And guided by President Obama’s Task Force on 21st Century Policing, we will continue reforming our police department and rebuilding trust between police and communities of color so all citizens feel safe in their neighborhoods; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That climate change is not a hoax, or a plot by the Chinese. In this city, surrounded by water on three sides, science matters. And we will continue our work on CleanPower, Zero Waste, and everything else we are doing to protect future generations; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we have been providing universal health care in this city for nearly a decade, and if the new administration follows through on its callous promise to revoke health insurance from 20 million people, San Franciscans will be protected; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we are the birthplace of the United Nations, a city made stronger by the thousands of international visitors we welcome every day. We will remain committed to internationalism and to our friends and allies around the world—whether the administration in Washington is or not; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That San Francisco will remain a Transit First city and will continue building Muni and BART systems we can all rely upon, whether this administration follows through on its platform to eliminate federal transit funding or not; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That California is the sixth largest economy in the world. The Bay Area is the innovation capital of the country. We will not be bullied by threats to revoke our federal funding, nor will we sacrifice our values or members of our community for your dollar; and, be it

FURTHER RESOLVED, That we condemn all hate crimes and hate speech perpetrated in this election’s wake. That although the United States will soon have a President who has demonstrated a lack of respect for the values we hold in the highest regard in San Francisco, it cannot change who we are, and it will never change our values. We argue, we campaign, we debate vigorously within San Francisco, but on these points we are 100 percent united. We will fight discrimination and recklessness in all its forms. We are one City. And we will move forward together.

The Tables

So if I’m picking up the signals, conservatives are claiming that the man killed by cops in the Oregon standoff was trying to surrender. Witnesses say that’s a lie. Liberals claim the cops’ shooting was justified.

Two thoughts:

When did support for flagrant rebellion against the Establishment become conservative, and support for law enforcement become liberal? Haven’t the tables turned in some insane way?

This word, conservative: I do not think it means what you think it means.

Santa Cause of Action

I have a bone to pick with Santa Claus. I want one of those fuzzy red suits with furry white trim. That’s looks incredibly comfortable and warm. But I know that if I got one, I couldn’t wear it out of the house without running up against all sorts of expectations. You know, that all “Ho ho ho,” and “Jolly old elf,” and “What do you want for Christmas?” stuff.

The problem is, Santa’s been zipping around for generations in that awesome outfit, delivering gifts, hanging at the mall, riding on fire trucks, etc. He’s made it impossible for anybody else to dress that way without drawing attention.

Well, I have things to do, places to be, people to see. I just want the suit. And I’m betting I’m not alone.

So I’m wondering, is there a questionable constructive trademark we can look into getting overturned? I’ll bet Claus never bothered to file for a TM in the US. It’s probably not enforceable outside of Lapland.

Any hot and juicy lawyers out there want to take this on contingency? If we win, I’ll buy you a suit too. You’ll look so good in court. Ho ho ho.

Miracle-On-34th-Street-1947-6

 

#Christmas #Grinch #NQ