Category Archives: humor

Beware the Ides of March!

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This year the Ides – March 15 – falls on the Monday after we lose an hour of sleep. (Didja set your clocks?) And studies indicate there may be more traffic accidents and heart attacks on that Monday. (See the video below.) So be careful driving and take some naps. Try not to plow into anybody or have a massive M.I.

The lost hour of sleep thing has never made complete sense to me: I just sleep later. When I set my bedroom alarm clock ahead an hour, I set the alarm an hour later too, and go ahead and get my roughly 7 hours. Duh.

Still, I have to admit that for the past several years, I tend to feel a little more fatigued for a few days after the time change.

I’ve been blaming Bush for this, so we’ll have to see what happens this year. I don’t have a problem continuing that tradition. Obama’s getting the blame for enough crap he didn’t cause. And we all knew it was going to take time to fix it.

It’s

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If you’ve been wondering how your brain works – or not – John Cleese will explain it very quickly.

Just a little something to get you over the hump, if that’s how it goes.

do not print that!

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Seems they’ve located 22,000,000 e-mails lost by George W. Bush. Well, not by him personally but by his administration. I’m glad. I’m sure that someone got a slap on the back and maybe an extra long lunch hour for finding them. But here’s the neat part: that’s from 94 days of his juntacracy.

Holy hard drives, Batman. That’s over 234,000 e-mails a day. How are they getting any work done, if they’re playing with MS Outlook that much? … Yep, that’s a rhetorical question.

How do you like the title of my post?

Think they will? Print it all out, I mean. Bet they do.

surprise!

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I know, I haven’t been blogging much lately. It’s the time of year. I’m cocooning ruminating. Plus I’m trying to work on the novel when I have time. Plus I posted a poem the other day which met with unmitigated indifference, and that’s cool: maybe you guys are cocooning ruminating too, huh?

Here, you can haz surprised kitteh. No charges.

how about a joke?

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A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”


As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s  on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”

She,in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice…

“I don’t think my python weally gives a thit.”

The Wurlitzer Prize

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“I humbly and gratefully accept the Nobel Prize in Physics, the recognition, the honor, the plaque, the trophy, the discount coupons, the windbreaker, the keychain, the bumper sticker, the Alfred Nobel bobblehead and the generous cash award which, if I may, I would like to receive in twenties and fifties.”

They Oughta Give Me The Wurlitzer Prize | CommonDreams.org

Really good stuff, Maynard. Funny, is my point. And there’s a dog in it.

frogmarch

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Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc., and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons.


– Douglas Adams

Adams was a writer and musician who lived from 1952-2001; a phenomenon which, if I live to be 100, I will never understand. I mean dying young. But I’m saying you should read his books, because they’re smart and funny. Maybe not great literature, not Faulkner’s Cow funny, but Oh so readable. The best laughs I ever got while reading anything not babbled forth by Bush-Cheney came while reading Douglas Adams.

Douglas Adams Web site, on which I found this:


How should prospective writers go about becoming an author?

First of all, realize that it’s very hard, and that writing is a grueling and lonely business and, unless you are extremely lucky, badly paid as well. You had better really, really, really want to do it. Next you have to write something.


But he did die much too young, didn’t he? Therefore, I think we need to see something funny.

 

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