flash forward

Notice something different about Metaphor? … Nope, I didn’t change the design. … No, I did not add a Facebook “Like” button. I figure you either like it or you don’t.

I added a new page. See the buttons across the top? They say Home | About Me | Contact & Network, etc. The new one says Flash Fiction. It’s a new page to describe and showcase my flash fiction project.

Want to know what that’s about? Well, just click the button.

I also found a highlighter tool in my blogging software, as well as a tool for redacting crossing out text. Sweet.

what happened

"It is what has not happened to one
that determines the silence…
I have no idea what happened
but now I am not the same."

                —Pablo Neruda

bowl of enlightenment

First, wash your bowl, then enlightenment.

I didn't post anything for a few days. Maybe I wanted to give you, Peaceable Reader, a little time to digest my last post, Portrait Of An Art. Which should have been titled Portrait Of The Art, alluding to James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, but for a misspeaking on my part.

Perhaps I was looking for a good way to present the cartoon above, only to remember that I already posted the best joke that would go with it. 

Naw, Actually, I did post something last night, briefly. I received a glossy propaganda mailer from Venoco's Ministry of Truth, and made a little video of it being fed into my shredder. I posted that, then took it down.

That ain't higher mind, you know? Sophomoric petulance doesn't serve the cause of critical thinking. So let's move on.

What's that you say? Your inner 9th grader wants to check it out? Naw, it's really pretty stup … seriously?

Oh well, alight then, if you're sure. Promise you'll still respect me in the morning.

An After Dinner Walk

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

by J. Kyle Kimberlin

 

There was a day, late summer because the days were still long and warm, when after dinner we decided to go for a walk. I thought it was a poor idea, being full and sleepy; I wanted to sit and watch a game or the news. To have the cat jump up in my lap and fall asleep, purring. But we started out, briskly, and she was in the lead as always, with her quick clipped steps. By the time we passed the gray bungalow with white window frames, two doors down, she was pulling ahead. She walked like a school principal, on her way to break up a fight.

Hey, after dinner walks are customarily taken at a more leisurely pace.

Oh, you have the book of customs for taking walks. I’ve been looking everywhere for that. You need the exercise.

Madam, I will not have you exercise me like a dog. Slow down and enjoy the stroll, or forge ahead alone.

No need to get mad.

I’m not. I’m just saying.

The needles of the fir tree in Mrs. Aldernecht’s front yard had fallen to fill her bird bath again. The morning paper was gone from her drive, which meant she was getting too old to care for the birds, but not too sick to leave the house. I was relieved.

Two doors father and across the street, Charlie Harmon stood in his open garage, polishing his Yamaha. His wife had left him, took the kids, but he kept those tires black and the chrome bright. He had a new satellite dish, bolted to the chimney at the peak of the roof. We waved.

We got to the end of the block and turned, and turned again, circling back to the house. In the kitchen, she poured a glass of wine. She offered me the bottle but I shook my head.

You didn’t want to go on, I said.

What?

We went around the block, and didn’t go on to the park.

No. And she went on to watch Jeopardy on the bedroom TV, to change her clothes, to drink the wine. I sat at the table and watched the last light from the window slide from a metal rooster trivet hanging by the stove.

I wished we had gone on to the park, so I could pick a flower for her to hold. Someone would be playing Frisbee with a dog.

Everything would be different if she had held the flower I picked for her, watched the dog running and jumping. We would have gone on to the playground, and seeing the children playing there, we would have gone home to make our own. Charlie would have sold the bike and got his wife and family back, and I could have cleared the needles and filled the birdbath with water, to keep Mrs. Aldernecht from the nursing home.

We turned and turned and the dog never played. The sun went down, came up and there was a day after dinner when she wasn’t there. Then neither was I, but sometimes I pick a flower, hold it for a while, and when nothing happens, I let it drop.

 

Creative Commons License
An After Dinner Walk by J. Kyle Kimberlin is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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glorious enthusiasm like worship

A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease. Every hidden cell is throbbing with music and life, every fiber thrilling like harp strings, while incense is ever flowing from the balsam bells and leaves. No wonder the hills and groves were God's first temples, and the more they are cut down and hewn into cathedrals and churches, the farther off and dimmer seems the Lord himself.

– John Muir, naturalist, explorer, and writer (1838-1914)

This Is Not A Political Platform

Hide Controls in G-Docs

Another in my occasional series, Holy Crap, This Is So Cool.

I like Google Docs, don’t you? It’s a great place for light word processing, spreadsheets, simple presentations, even for doing forms and drawings.

A Few Basics

If you have a document in almost any format, you can upload it to Docs and work on it there. There are 2 options, save it as a Google Doc and work on it online, or store it in it’s original format.

There is no limit for stuff in Google Docs format. Docs does have a limit for files you upload and keep in their original format (Word, XLS, Powerpoint, etc) but it’s 2gb. That’s a lot. It’s 2000mb, and my 235 page novel is less than 1mb in Word.

When you’re ready to save your document to your computer in a native application such as Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc., Docs can do that quickly and very well.

The very cool thing I learned today.

You can hide the controls bar across the top of your document! In other words, Google Docs has a Full Screen mode. Who knew? 

This is great because I like to zoom in – make text larger – while I type. If you leave the controls at the top, they get bigger too, which sucks.

Note: Don’t know how to zoom? Scroll the wheel on your mouse while holding Ctrl. Or use View > Zoom on your toolbar.

To Hide the controls, Select View > Hide Controls on the Google Docs controls bar.

Or press Ctrl + Shift + F.

Press Esc to return to normal view.

Now you can zoom and out in to your heart’s content, and all that changes is the text and the page, just like any word processor on your hard drive.

If you press F11 on your keyboard also, you’re looking at nothing but your document. F11 takes your browser to Full Screen mode. Press F11 again to return to normal.

Very cool! See, you gotta stick with Metaphor to learn good stuff.