What would the founders say?

I’ve been working on taking a large part of my novel in process and rewriting it in the voice and point of view of my subject family’s patriarch. I mean the grandfather of the family. His point of view, the history of suffering and God-mandated hard work and the planting of trees so that others might benefit from shade, is the most interesting of the voices in my head lately.

I’ll give you a sample in a moment. First, to the subject line of this post. I don’t mean the founders of America. I mean the founders of our families. Our grandparents and parents; our tree of the knowledge of love and sacrifice.

An hour ago, I turned on The Daily Show and watched John Stewart begin his nightly diatribe on the topic of impending national doom. I saw the president speak in a way that could only serve to feed our unremitting anxiety. I turned it off. It was making me sad and sick at heart. And I thought to myself it is a merciful God who has given so many Americans full and productive lives of building a nation of dreams, but took them to Himself before they saw such a day of purblind governmental stupidity. It’s too bad that so many more – who’ve worked just as hard – are forced to see it now.

I believe my grandparents would be outraged and ashamed that Washington has driven us to this point. And that our leaders are willing to leap from behind the wheel and watch the whole thing just go rolling over a cliff. For nothing but asinine and petty politics. I believe they would feel their sacrifices – those of their generation including the dead and bereaved of many wars – have been entirely betrayed.

What the hell happened to Yes We Can? How did We The People so completely screw up the simple yet desperately difficult task of voting for responsible people that now we have no one in government with the sense God gave a block of wood? There is nobody in the capital city able to stand up and say We are going to make this right, do the next right thing, at the very least the job we were hired to do. Don’t worry, we are competent and the system works. Nope, every last one of them regardless of party are determined to prove the opposite, that they are worthless and unworthy, corrupt and incompetent.

I am reminded of a line from the series Deadwood, in which the character Wolcott says:

I am a sinner who does not expect forgiveness, but I am not a government official.

Anyway, here’s some Grandpa. From two different sections of text. He’s not my Grandpa or yours, but maybe we can find some truth in him.

I brought my family west in 1942. We dragged up and rolled out of Joplin following a trail of postcards sent by a cousin on my wife’s side, a witless unwashed little bastard who had come ahead in search of work. I tried to talk her out of it, said we had friends and kin and possibilities and the Lord seemed pleased to see us grow where we were planted, but she would not be diverted. Those postcards were full of promises and hope. California was a land of unlimited harvest, he said, where for practically nothing a man could claim a piece of land as wide and rich as his dreams, and have no one to argue with but the bees.

I remember how that long damn road across New Mexico went on and on like the devil himself had laid it with a taut line leading west out of Texas into hell. We had a pickup truck, a 1937 Chevrolet with no air in it and not much air outside either. We dragged a little two wheel trailer behind us for our possibles, making six wheels in all and between there and here every tire blew out or ran flat more than once.

When I came out of the bank they were waiting for me in the little park across the street and up the block. The sun had filled the day with shining. I had my old leather valise in my hand and the papers were in it. I put it against my chest and gave it a pat for good luck because it held the instrument of all our hopes. Standing on the corner, I could see them up the street, my family. They were waiting in the little plaza. John was hanging like a monkey on the muzzle of the antique Army gun, swinging like it was made to be a toy and not a relic of death from the Mexican war. Lillian was sitting on a bench watching him play, holding our baby. I saw how small they looked compared to the buildings, the trees and the California sky. But I felt pretty small myself, in relation to the contract I had signed. Small against the work we’d have to do to pay the note, to coax good fruit from serious and stoic trees. But the grass was green in the little park and the flag on the pole next to the canon was earnest, and the sky was very blue. The little town of Cortina – our new home – sat around us faintly humming with the engine of people in an early summer afternoon. We were strangers here entirely, but with many friends we just hadn’t met yet. And a loan had been made to me in good faith. So in my mind – to very young Jim Geister, far from home and his people – anything was probable and everything was good.

Once in a while

“… there is a moment that emerges when the creative process itself seems to "talk" to the artist. Those who have listened deeply to this "voice" that echoes the rhythms of the universe, and can recite its reverberations back into the stream, are capable of creating work that can enchant the very cosmos itself. So I have faith in the surrender and acceptance of the creative act and the humility to know that a great artist is but a conduit for an expression that resonates with something that is greater than him or herself.

— The Director of the Imaginary Foundation
    http://goo.gl/hCd7d

Once in a while you get shown the light
in the strangest places if you look at it right.
— The Grateful Dead

skeletonroses1

 

Patience

Waiting for my life
to begin again,
for the dead clock to run
backwards to my birth,
for the dawn to bend
humbly over Carpinteria,
San Francisco, Death Valley;
wherever I am when it finally
happens:

when sugar of the orange
runs back to the tree,
airships float whispering
through my suffering sky,
the blue dog of mystery
meets me on the other side,
my scars fade to roses
and cities are built on my bones.

 

       — J. Kyle Kimberlin

 

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This is what you shall do

        by Walt Whitman

 

"This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."

 

from the preface of Leaves of Grass. Public domain.

The Future of Publishing

US writer John Locke has become the first self-published author to sell more than one million e-books in the Kindle Store on Amazon.

Locke, from Kentucky, used Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing to publish and sell his nine novels.

http://goo.gl/NtFaZ

He kept creative control, and more of the money. Good for him.

Post #2700

Metaphor is an old blog. If you cruise around the blogosphere you will see that not many have sites been active longer than this one. I started when blogging started; at least, when it started going mainstream. I had been trying to design a kind of html web page, composed in MS Word or Publisher, which I could update and upload periodically to my traditional web site. I was going to call it The View From Here. Then I learned there were things called blogs.

As of this item, I’ve posted 2700 times. Actually, it’s probably over 3000, because I had other blogs that lived briefly before Metaphor. I also have a blog that has lived concurrently with this one. But it’s published with a pseudonym, in the tradition of Benjamin Franklin’s Silence Dogood and and Richard Saunders. Dissent lives.

I started in March 2003, ranting against the imminent calamity of the Iraq war and George W. Bush’s arrogant and evil Shock and Awe. Times were hot for blogging. I got reaction to my pro-peace, anti-invasion posts. I even had people emailing me posts of their own, in complete disagreement and demanding that I publish them under some misguided fairness doctrine. That was funny. I suggested they get their own blogs. It’s free and easy.

Blogging is kind of fun sometimes. I find it much more satisfying than ripping off a Facebook mini-thought or a Tweet. I’m simply geared more like a Peterbilt than a Vespa.

Writing is for me a social, tribal endeavor, and blogging has enabled me to ride trains of thought that I never would have taken by any other means. I mean, there is nothing posted in this blog, as far as I know, that would have wound up in my journal if it hadn’t been shared here.

backhoe_in_swampMy journal is entirely different. It’s more of a list of events interspersed with mundane observation and self-deprecating snark. It’s a useful reference, but nobody would want to read it. I don’t. But it’s like a big mental backhoe, good for draining the swamp.

Are you a blogger too? If so, why? What do you like about it? What do you dislike about it? If you’ve tried it and given up blogging, or decided it’s not for you in the first place, I’d like to hear from you too.

You can drop a comment, or maybe you’d like to post something on your blog and leave a link in the comments. Or send me an e-mail with a comment or a link, and I’ll post it for you.

Shutters

a new poem

 

P1010031-1

I wish that someone would take
photos at funerals, someone
professional who knows what not
to miss and not to capture.

Maybe we should all be clicking
and flashing away as at a wedding.
The moment slips from memory
as moments always do, and I’m left
with vital colors lost.

The colors of caskets fade, the stands
of carnation and lily, and the hearse.
I remember only bronze in kind
sunlight, the green lawn stretching
to a rusty wall, gray stones.

I remember the motion of leaves
but not the depth of green shade
cast by an awning on the catafalque
and mounded earth.

If I had pictures I could see that you
were there with us: bright shirt, black
tie and the dull blue of sky that framed
your head. And the dead already resting,
hardly even listening anymore.

It is a kind of wedding, isn’t it?
A putting away of childish things,
a new tribe and loyalty, a faith to be kept forever.
And then, maybe there’s dancing.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

 

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Ancient?

The novelist and writing teacher John Gardner, who once taught writing at my alma mater, said:

“One must be just a little crazy to write a great novel. One must be capable of allowing the darkest, most ancient and shrewd parts of one’s being to take over the work from time to time.”

Now I certainly think he was right. And not just in the sense of a novel. Any literary fiction or poetry demands a willingness to let the exploring muse rummage around in the back bedroom closet of the soul. But there is a word in that quote that makes me confused.

How is it that there are ancient parts of my being, or anyone’s? Middle-aged is the term, I think. Ancient is like the epigraph to Eliot’s Wasteland.

He says he saw the Sybil hanging in a jar in the market in Cumea and he asked her what she wanted. She responded, “I want to die.” (The Sibyl of Cumae was the most famous of her kind. In Greek mythology, they were prophetic old women; witches or oracles. As a reward for guiding Aeneas through Hades in the Aeneid,  she was granted immortality by Apollo. But she forgot to ask for eternal youth too. So she withered away and got hung up in a bottle like bad taxidermy. I guess you can file that one under being careful what you wish for.)

Is that the sort of thing I’m supposed to picture as ancient in my being? No, I think Gardner is referring to something more like the collective unconscious. There is a history of humanity that runs through our kind irrespective of the individual. Something timeless, tribal, transcendent. This commonality of suffering and joy is what binds us together and makes writing worth reading.

William Faulkner was one of the great declaimers of creativity born in universal human experience; the grinding wagon wheels of generation. He bade us write about, “the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself which alone can make good writing because only that is worth writing about, worth the agony and the sweat. He must learn them again. He must teach himself that the basest of all things is to be afraid: and, teaching himself that, forget it forever, leaving no room in his workshop for anything but the old verities and truths of the heart, the universal truths lacking which any story is ephemeral and doomed–love and honor and pity and pride and compassion and sacrifice.”

That’s all I have that’s ancient, as far as you know. But I confess there are cabinets down in the garage that haven’t been purged of their primeval dasein for a while. Who can say who might be hanging around down there, beseeching Olympus for a merciful end.

Why I Hate My Brain

It did it again. About once a year, despite my warnings, my brain leaves the coffee pot in the dishwasher. I mean it tries to make a pot of coffee without the pot in place, which makes a big mess on the countertop that I have to clean up. My brain doesn’t even help. Well, it did it again this morning. It filled the reservoir and scrunched in a filter, scooped in some Folgers, and wandered off to check e-mail.

I suppose a case could be made that I had my head up my ass, would puts my poor half-century-old brain in a highly untenable position. I demur. My brain has a manifest problem with time and place. It’s always somewhere or somewhen else while I’m trying to deal with life’s simplest tasks. It’s rarely here and now.

I’ve done everything that should be expected of a guy, trying to get my brain to focus on the case. I’ve provided clocks and calendars and familiar environments like Home. I’ve furnished manuals like The Power Of Now and The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. All to no avail.

It does lots of similar things, all the time. For instance, last night it left a burner on the stove on low, so that when I went back for seconds my pea soup had the consistency of bathroom calk. And my brain stubbornly refuses to keep my iPod synced and charged, so I have to do it and it’s not my job.

I’m beginning to think that if my brain continues to refuse to play with the team – let alone think outside the box – I may have to let it go. I’ll have to say Brain, you’re fried. I mean fired. See? It’s not helping me even now. Focus, you distracted brick!

Yeah, I think I’m going to take a meeting with my Mind, to discuss a possible replacement. Preferably something that doesn’t run Windows or caffeine.

Let’s Play!

I’m trying to work up something like a post for the blog. I seem to have a case of Blogger’s Clog, which is similar to writer’s block. In the mean time, here’s a funny little video of a cute dog trying to get a guy to throw a stick for him to fetch.