I have decided to compile a list of all business entities which have the incalculable bad taste to present themselves or their products in any medium, prior to Thanksgiving, with a Christmas theme advertisement.
In the unlikely case that I would be otherwise inclined to patronize such a concern, said transgression of decency will result in my boycotting it until at least Memorial Day, 2012.
The reason for my abhorrence of this tacky practice, which seems to lurch forth from Madison Avenue earlier each year, should be self-evident.
My list will be circumspect, comprehensive, and you can bet your sweet sugarplums, I’m checking it twice.
If I recall rightly, the first one I saw this year took place sometime before mid-September. I purposely forgot the company, or I'd gladly tell you so you could throw its fetid name onto the rotted list of reprehensibility. This year, I'm waiting for the first day after Xmas ad that reminds us "only 364 days left until . . ."—it'll happen, mark my words. The cognitive frame within which our holiday memories have been sepia-toned into has been stretched beyond the broken point for some time. It no longer exists. Instead, some digitally Mastercharged clone of it has emerged and it lacks any soul whatsoever. It isn't the toys that lie strewn and broken after only a week, it's the essential memories that never formed in the hearts of the poor conjacked children.