Dangerous PCs

Users Blame Sudden Acceleration for Recent Spate of Injuries

Windows machines across the country seem to be going haywire, sending unsuspecting users to emergency rooms and undermining PC owners’ confidence in the inherent safety and reliability of the beloved proprietary computing platform. Initial reports, subsequently debunked, that the speed-ups were strictly a mechanical issue caused by a sticky Tab key served only to panic consumers further.

Whoa, Nellie! … you heard it here first.