OK, so you’re an 8 year old boy, playing near a pond with your brother in the summertime. Climbing into a treehouse, you fall 7 or 8 feet onto dirt and leaves, landing on your back. You’re not seriously injured, just a few bruises and scratches, but you get the wind knocked out of you pretty good.
As you lie there, held by your uncle, he asks you how you’re doing.
Now, what I’m looking for is not a direct answer to the question, like “I’m alright,” or “I’m hurt,” but more of an exclamation. Here’s what I have in the draft:
“Here, set up a little better,” Uncle Charlie said, and helped Bo sit so that Charlie’s right hand was supporting his back. “How you doing, little guy?”
Any thoughts? Is this believable? What do you think the kid would say, assuming that he’s heard it all and the stress of the experience overcomes his inhibitions.
Leave suggestions in comments, please!