on disability

“The Authors Guild, of which I am a member, has done zilch to secure disability protection for writers. In my line of work, disability comes down to two things: memory loss and something else, I forget what. You lose the vocabulary retrieval skills you had when you were 30 and interesting words such as ‘parietal lobe’ and ‘sedimentary rocks’ flocked to your brain, and now you sit inert at the laptop for a number of horrendous minutes trying to remember the word for the thing that if you picked it up and dropped it on your foot it would be very, very bad — anvil! This is a disability, and a writer should be able to receive payments, and also for the other thing, whatever it is.”

– Garrison Keillor, Where’s my disability check? | Salon

Carpal tunnel, Garrison! The other thing is CTD – carpal tunnel disease. It’s either that, or maybe AAS – anvil ass syndrome, which develops from years of sitting. It turns to solid iron, but not in a good way. See when you’re an English Major – pictured here – they tell you that the secret to success as a writer is AIC – ass in chair.

He’s not doing it right. I don’t see a chair, do you? I don’t even see a desk, just a dog. Oh well.

I’m very good at AIC. Regrettably, the computer in front of my C where I sit on my A is connected to NET, which stands for something else, I forget what.

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