everybody bail!

This comes from the vast archives of Uncle Kyle’s Strange but True:

Disneyland’s venerable Small World ride has been shut down for a retrofit. Boats have been bottoming out – and taking on water ‘cross the gunwales – because we are bottoming out. People are getting fatter, and the ride designed in 1960 – when the average adult weighed 25 pounds less – can’t handle the loads.

I guess it’s not such a small world anymore, after all.

For the record, Disney says it’s not the people, but the ever-thickening fiberglass which results from repairs. What would you expect them to say? “Ya bunch of fatties are groundin’ our boats!”

Welcome to Tomorrowland, Kids!



5 thoughts on “everybody bail!

  1. Bill: As an expert in all things annoying, I can say with confidence that the most annoying melody in the history of the universe is Turkey in the Straw, played by an ice cream truck.

    The second most annoying tune is a repetitive farting noise emitted by a carnivorous species of sulfurous mud pot, out-gassed in an effort to lure prey, on the planet Cheney VI, in the Flatulent Galaxy.

    It’s a Small World is third.

    (Channeling Douglas Adams)

  2. Awwww, I wanna hear the SBT radio show. Can you put it on your blog so we can all hear you?

    As far as “weighty-er people” — down here in Louisiana we have a lot of bridges. My husband keeps telling me they weren’t constructed for the bigger vehicles and the bigger bottoms in those vehicles. Of course, he could be using reverse psychology on me. Okay…okay…I’m walking 3 miles a day now. (grumble, grumble)

  3. They ought to close that ride forever or change the tune, which I consider among the most annoying in the history of the universe.

  4. I’d love to hear that! Back then, it was so much easier to find things strange. I guess a guy has to fight the urge for life’s weirdness to seem normal.

  5. “it’s not such a small world anymore” – you crack me up! 🙂

    i had forgotten until now your Strange But True’s. somewhere in that large box of cassette tapes of mine i’m sure i’ve got an air check of one of my old radio shows where you did a SBT on the air. i need to dig that out. 🙂

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