T M I …

… or, what’s up Bush’s Butt.

Yesterday, I was watching my TV, when CNN offered – following the incipient commercial break – to tell me “what doctors found” in the course of Bush’s Saturday colonoscopy. I snatched up the remote and turned off the tube. Time to resort to a book. But in the intervening hours, my willful ignorance has plagued me. What the devil was in there? I mean, as American citizens, it’s our duty to imagine it, don’t you think?

I imagine they found – inter alia – Rumsfeld’s humanity, Gonzales’ competence, Rice’s honesty, and Karl Rove’s head. I’m sure they found, like countless shining polyps, the millions of jobs that have packed up and shipped overseas since 2000. And what are those – over there? Oh, a whole shitload of mortgages, which might have survived under a better president. And the impacted, long lost hopes of lives saved with decent funding of scientific research.

And what about Bush’s brain? That hasn’t been located yet. They’re searching the deep brush, out on the ranch.