Here’s another one from the hallowed vaults of Kyle’s Strange But True. Hold on to your wigs and keys. Before you read on, you need to click here for theme music appropriate to this post. (Wav file, opens best with Windows Media Player.)

I came home this evening, unlocked the door, set the doggie on the floor, turned on the kitchen light. I looked at the telephone on the counter, intending to check the voice mail. I noticed the phone was turned around backwards, and the cord was goofed up. Strange. Someone has been in here, thinks I. I thought maybe my folks – they have a key. Then I looked down and saw a Sheriff’s Department business card.

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There it was, sitting on the counter. I picked it up and held it. (Yes, I scrubbed his name; the guy maybe doesn’t need his name on the Net.) And it took a while for it to register in my mind — the cops have been in my place! I moved through the condo in half a good panic, checking my stuff: TV there, computer there, Papa’s shotgun, (It’s not real, and that’s another blog) furniture, piano … Arrgh. I picked up the phone and started to call the number on the card — what the hell!? — then noticed there was writing on the back.

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Well, what do you think about that? I did leave the front window open. I’m glad for that — they didn’t have to kick in the door. And they don’t seem to have busted anything. I’ll look more carefully in daylight. Anyway, I called them after I calmed down. It took a few minutes to figure it out. First, they suggested a passing airplace may have triggered a call from my cordless phone. But it turns out they got a real 911 call from a little kid who kept hanging up, and … wait for it … went to the wrong address.

Oh well, the way I look at it, it’s nice to know that if I was choking on a presidential pretzel or something, someone would come and find me before I started to pee-eww up the joint — assuming I was choking to death in my neighbor’s house, two doors down. My only regret is that I don’t work at the Sheriff’s Dept., so I won’t have the opportunity to give Dep. ______ a ration of s–t about this.