coming attractions

I’m hanging out in the coffeehouse, listening to a French singer, with bongos and a trombone. I don’t speak French, but I think this means you need to know what’s coming up for me.

I don’t know if it can get a lot stranger than this music, but it’s going to get pretty weird. My brother and sis-in-law are getting ready to take off for a 10 day trip. They have two cats, one of whom has a heart problem and has to stay home. He can’t travel to my house to be cared for, and he can’t go to the vets’ for boarding. They need a petsitter. I won’t bore you with the process of selection and elimination by which the task falls to be alone. Me, alone. Alone.
Now I’m not a solitary person. Writers spend a lot of time alone – hours alone. In fact, I’m alone write now. (Write now – get it?) But not all day. Never all day and all night. I’m social. Solitude is part of the process, sometimes part of life, especially if you live alone like me. But it needs to be taken in manageable doses. I spend time with other people every day. And I live in a condo. There are people around. I can look out and see people – children playing – right outside. I can hear them talking below my windows. That’s what I’m used to.
My bro and his wife and child live in the foothills northeast of Sacramento, in a remote home, in a quiet, secluded and woody neighborhood. It’s not exactly in the middle of nowhere, but you can see the middle of nowhere from their porch. On a clear day, you can see sometimes the end of the line from the deck. And did I mention it’s quiet? It’s on a forested cul-de-sac, with just a few neighbors off through the trees. It’s rare to see them drive by. You never hear them, unless someone fires up a chainsaw.
But I agreed to go up and look after the kitties and and keep them company, for a little less than a week, while my nephew stays here in SB with my folks. We hope that a familiar person will be good for the cats, keep the separation anxiety in check. A paid petsitter will come daily for the rest of the time. Speaking of time, I have a few ideas for avoiding going completely Here’s Johnny, but there’s nothing in my experience to compare with this. So I can’t guarantee I’m coming back with my elevator still going all the way up.
I’ll be blogging it, of course.

nothing there

Well I guess I’ve still got this blog thing going, though I’ve been neglecting it a little lately. I’ve been preoccupied, and doing more worrying and fussing than thinking. When I try to put my finger on something I’ve been thinking about lately — beyond the heart’s poor, sore tremblings in the face of the monolithic Moment — there’s nothing there. So it goes. Here’s a new poem.

Life Comes

Imagine a bowling ball was left
in the center of a large parking lot
in the darkness of early morning.
Maybe the parking lot of a Wal-mart
store, with no cars. So picture
the fade-in: the camera slowly
pulls back from the surface
of this black bowling ball
on the pitch black tarmac.
Black on black, deep blue,
a line of gray as something
more than nothing finally
comes with the sun still
cold beyond the blunted hills.

No one can be blamed
for all of this, least of all
the sleeping animals, dead
to the world which is dead
to them, but a soft
and indefensible hope for the day.
So I rise passively, already surrendered,
knowing life has come for me again,
that whatever comes for me between
this hot shower and the hour when
I pull the sheet over my head
and pretend to be hidden again tonight,
none of it is personal. It’s just
another day on its own terms.

J. Kyle Kimberlin
Draft, June 2, 2006

Peace Activists Punished with Pepper Spray

Police and sheriff’s deputies clad in riot gear fired at least four rounds of pepper spray in an hour after asking the demonstrators several times to stop, authorities said. No one was arrested, but paramedics were dispatched to treat some activists.

Dozens of demonstrators crouched in the port plaza, dousing each other’s eyes with water and offering slices of onion to soothe their throats.

“It burned. I couldn’t open my eyes for 20 minutes,” said Rachel Graham, among those hit. “My face is burning. I dunked my face in water and in Puget Sound.”

“The majority were very peaceful, nonviolent, just exercising their constitutional rights,” sheriff’s Capt. Bradley Watkins said.

Same as it ever was.  We have a government that divides the nation and separates us from the rest of the world.  Demonstrators can be pretty stupid when mob rule kicks in. I mean, what good is busting through a fortified gate into the port?  You can’t do anything inside that you can’t do outside.  And the cops … well, they are cops because they get a certain satisfaction from inflicting punishment. 

brave


brave
Originally uploaded by kylekimberlin.

I made this image in photoshop, from two photos I took. I made it for wallpaper, but also posted it to Flickr. I know that many, if not most, of the people who use Flickr are more purists than I am, and frown a bit at heavy digital manipulation of images. I have a different opinion. I consider “post-production” to be an extension of the creative process. But that’s me.

Dear lord above, can’t you know I’m pining,
tears all in my eyes
Send down that cloud with a silver lining,
lift me to paradise

ghost story

The fog was where I wanted to be. Halfway down the path you can’t see this house. You’d never know it was here. Or any of the other places down the avenue. I couldn’t see but a few feet ahead. I didn’t meet a soul. Everything looked and sounded unreal. Nothing was what it is. That’s what I wanted — to be alone with myself in another world where truth is untrue and life can hide from itself. Out beyond the harbor, where the road runs along the beach, I even lost the feeling of being on land. The fog and the sea seemed part of each other. It was like walking on the bottom of the sea. As if I had drowned along ago. As if I was a ghost belonging to the fog, and the fog was the ghost of the sea. It felt damned peaceful to be nothing more than a ghost within a ghost.

— Eugene O’Neill, Long Day’s Journey Into Night

you gonna eat that?

This habit that some jerks have of killing large, exotic creatures just for sport, pisses me off. What a waste. What an incredible disrespect for life.

Back in the days when idiots shot buffalo from the windows of trains, I’m sure the animals seemed infinite. Wrong. Nothing is limitless except God, and everything is here for a reason.

Why is it that some people can’t appreciate anything without destroying it?

Happy to be Home


Happy to be Home
Originally uploaded by kylekimberlin.

Happy’s very glad to have her Mama and Dad back from their trip, and she’s Happy to be home with them. She’s working on getting used to her new heart meds now. They take a toll on her mood, but she’s a trooper. And she’s breathing well, which is the main thing.

Thanks for all your supportive comments and e-mails. And don’t forget to visit Happy’s personal blog — Happy’s Trials — in the column on the right.

whew. really.

I brought Happy home last night. She was exhausted and had diarrhea, poor baby, but otherwise OK. She’s breathing comfortably, resting here beside the desk. We both got a good night’s sleep, which I really needed because I was fairly stressed, and Happy ate her breakfast. Good girl. We have an appointment with her regular vet in half an hour.

three and a half hours

until I get to bring Happy home.

I just talked to the vet. Happy’s doing “really well.” Her heart size is better. (I didn’t know that could/would happen, but I guess a stressed and swollen muscle gets better with treatment.) They’re slowly weaning her off oxygen, and I can get her at 7pm.

I’m a little nervous about it. What if something happens while I’m asleep? (Maybe I shouldn’t do that.) I told the vet I miss Happy and she wants to come home, but we don’t want to rush this, if it’s best that Happy stay for observation. The vet said no, it’ll be fine.

You know, taking care of someone small and helpless, especially one who can’t tell you where it hurts, it’s an enormous responsibility. I’ve done it before — with Tasha for 14 years — but it still takes great focus and determined love. It’s still not easy. So those of you who are good parents — of children or pets — have my unmitigated respect.