When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone
to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.-Mark Twain
Author Archives: Kyle Kimberlin
happy’s heart
Happy collapsed while I was walking her today. The vet thinks it’s her heart. Syncope, she called it. Happy fainted or collapsed, because not enough blood was getting to her brain.
We set off for just a little walk, down to the end of the block and back. We’d been walking 3 or 4 minutes when Happy fell over on her side. She looked ridged. I thought she was having a seizure. I scooped her up, ran to my truck and went straight to the vet. We were there in less than 10 minutes after it happened. She seemed disoriented on the way down, but conscious. She could sit up and stand, but not well.
The vet did a neuro exam, to rule out a seizure, and that result was OK. They kept her in the clinic for several hours, until closing time, for observation. Chest xray last week showed no fluid in her lungs, so she’s not in heart failure.
Happy had a smaller syncopal episode last night, though we didn’t know what it was. She was sleeping in a chair, started to stand up and fell over in the chair. My Mom called me, and I thought it was maybe just a pinched nerve or leg gone to sleep. She was better in a few minutes, but seemed restless, so my Dad slept on the floor with her.
Happy was diagnosed with bad mitral and tricuspid valves in December, at the time of the chicken bone crisis. But it wasn’t bad enough to start therapy. The vet is doubling her heat medicine from once to twice and day. And she’s having an ultrasound — or maybe it’s an echo cardiogram — in the morning. Mean time, she’s at home and resting.
I’m worried. Happy’s my widdle buddy. Prayers would be appreciated.
hi, fructose!
Did you see Boston Legal tonight? It was pretty cool, funny. An obese client sues a snack food company for his addiction and diabetes.
Some of you know that I’ve been on a clinic diet for several months, eating better, exercising … I’ve lost 72 pounds. Well on my weigh. Which is good. And when I saw this argument on Boston Legal about high fructose corn syrup, (HFCS) its link to diabetes and blocking of the hormone that makes you feel full, I checked out my clinic food. Right there in the little snack bars they supply to help clients stay on the diet between meals — #1 ingredient — you guessed it. High farkin’ fructose corn syrup. Dammit.
I grabbed the last few bars I had left and ran the little bastards down the garbage disposal. (I like to call it the kitchen pig.) They did not go quietly. Sounded like I was trying to shove rocks through the pig. I had to run hot water and keep grinding, to finally get them to die.
Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!
Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, take my advice
pull down your pants and slide on the ice …
… no no, that’s not it …
… take my advice, get that evil goo HFCS out of your house and your life.
Oh, and one last twist of weirdness. This was a brand new Boston Legal episode, first aired tonight. But when I googled HFCS and found the Wikipedia site linked to above, that episode is already mentioned in the entry. The Net is faster than human thought. Just like a certain Decider’s decisions.
writers quit whining
A very cool column by Garrison Keillor, at Salon.com. Don’t miss it, especially if you write, and therefore crave sympathy.
a coke and a smile
I love these moments when the blogosphere rises up to prove its commanding social relevance.
“Diet Coke is an excrescence, a vile concoction that leaves a sickly, Rumsfeldian taste in the mouth.”
Andrew Sullivan ~ The Daily Dish
Rumsfeldian? Right! It’s sort of the new Orwellian … leaving a sickly aftertaste. Sweet.
I know you’re wondering, so I’ll tell you. Why not? I usually drink Crystal Light at home. Raspberry Lemonade or Pink Lemonade mostly, but I’m not gay. I just got tired of the carbonation. I prefer a lighter, more subtle beverage, which doesn’t make me feel like the Hindenberg, caught in a freak inverted windshear. Now you know.
gentlemen,
you can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!— Dr. Strangelove
the ol’ john hancock
I was just thinking about something you’re probably not going to care about. Sorry. But I was wondering, do you sign your e-mails? I mean, do you put “Dear —-,” at the top and “Love, —–,” at the bottom, or something like that? I usually do, because my brain is full of vestigial patterns left over from the days before the dawn of cyberspace. But when I think about it, it doesn’t make much sense. It’s superfluous. An e-mail tells you who it’s to and from, right at the top.
Just so you know, I’m going to try to cut back on this, see how it goes.
Smell ya later,
Kyle
insignificant
I want you to see the difference between a blog like mine and one of the big boys. Here’s a post from Eschaton:
DrunkHe’s shitfaced.
That’s the whole thing. I have no idea who he’s referring to, or why he posted this. To me, it makes no sense at all. But here’s what makes it emblematic of a truly great blog: it’s got 266 comments, so far. Probably more since then. It’s like the Grand Canyon. It makes me feel so small. And I admit I haven’t accessed the comments, because to do so would be like attacking the top of Bright Angel Trail in rollerblades.
vive la revolucion!
In the spirit of May Day solidarity, I’ve decided that, come Monday, I intend to spend an hour or two boycotting nothing in particular.
Stickin’ it to the man.
I’ll let you know how it goes. I might need somebody to go my bail.
the worst
The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
–Henry Ward Beecher
I just noticed this is the Quote of the Day in my right column. I forget that’s there. It’s automatic. It’s a good one, though, huh?
I’m not against government. No anarchist, I. I just think we deserve … no, that’s not right. We don’t deserve a good government. We’ve got the government we deserve. But the children deserve good leadership. They deserve debt-free infrastructure, healthcare, education, and peace.
Impeach Bush.
one of those decades
The Los Angeles Times reports a surge in global terrorism, according to … The US Government. Oh dear.
Ever have one of those decades when everything goes wrong? I remember waking up early on the morning of September 11, 2001, and the TV coming on with its little timer. Then all hell broke lose, and we’ve been devolving into chaos ever since.
Let me just over-generalize a bit: Can anyone out there in the blogosphere think of one thing that we the people — collectively or through the powers of our supposed self-government — have done right, since those few weeks, when we made that great run of consumerism on all manner of American flags? You remember, we had them all over our cars, houses, businesses, lunchpails, t-shirts, undershorts, etc., in September ’01. But since then, has it not been one giant clusterf**k of national failure?
I’m not trying to kill the last vestiges of your nationalistic buzz, if any remain. I’m just saying, when are we going to learn? When are we going to organize and take back our national identity? Does anyone know any Latino high school students? They seem pretty well organized; maybe they can put some feet in the street.
flattery will get you nowhere
Novel by Harvard Author Pulled From Stores
Let’s be careful out there, writers. Be sure you’re not planting your field with somebody else’s corn.
[E’gads, I just paraphrased Chaucer. I’ll be hearing from his publisher now.]
Metaphor 