So I was minding my own beeswax, reading my (May 31) Time magazine, when I came, without warning, upon 10 questions for Tom Tancredo. He’s the Republican who is building his mostly hopeless presidential campaign on the narrow backs of illegal immigrants. (I should be careful about saying it’s hopeless; I didn’t think Bush had much of a chance against Gore, and I was almost wrong.)

I was so flabbergasted by the abject stupidity of his answers to these questions, I’m a little annoyed with Time for killing trees to give Tancredo a chance to prove what a moron he is.

One answer jumped out at me so forcefully, I almost stopped a stranger passing by to say, “Look! Look at this answer! Can you believe it? This … oh gosh … this man is running for president! Of the whole country!”

Are you ready?

Question: What evidence would convince you that global warming is a serious threat to the planet?

Answer: I have no doubt that global warming exists. I just question the cause and what we can do to ameliorate it. But I wonder why the Sierra Club isn’t going crazy about the environmental aspects of massive immigration into the U.S. The fact is, Americans consume more energy than anyone else, so if a person moves here from another country, they automatically become bigger polluters.

No! No, Tancredo! Bad Tancredo! You should be running for mayor of Non Sequiturville, not president of the US.

We Americans don’t consume more energy because of where we live. We consume more energy because of how we live. Just because someone moves here, doesn’t mean they live like us, consume like us, waste like us.

I think The Gong Show would be a great model for the political process. If somebody says something this dumb, the people shouldn’t have to wait for the primaries — just gong his ass now, and send him home. At the very least, model it after Survivor. (More people watch that than vote in an election anyway.) That way, we could see somebody voted off the island every week.