I’ve been thinking a lot about drivel today. You know what I mean. I happen to believe that it’s valid for a society that encourages creative expression to also encourage the criticism of it. There should be a consciousness of quality.

When someone creates a beautiful or meaningful thing, we ought to applaud. And when somebody makes something ugly, we ought to say so. We ought to stand up and say, “That’s Crap!” If for no better reason than that the children should be taught there’s a difference.

Not all art is artful. Sometimes, it’s OK to send the artist back to the studio, to the writing desk, with a sympathetic admonition to take a class and try again.

Case in point: it’s time to say “That’s Crap!” to reality TV, in all its misbegotten incarnations. I refuse to watch anything fictional that doesn’t have a script evidently written, on purpose, by a writer. And all that Survivor and Fear Factor stuff is fictional, ladies and gents.

Moreover, we need to tell the truth. Lies and damned lies should not be manifest and tolerated in our media, and any media sources that lie for a living should be anathema.

Case in point: the other day, I happened to glance at the cover of the National Enquirer (I know, it’s too obvious an example) in the grocery store. On the cover was a photo, purportedly of Steve Irwin swimming inches above the giant stingray that took his life. Dramatic. Compelling. Problem: when the slobs faked up the photo, it didn’t occur to their tiny indehiscent minds that, as much as Steve undoubtedly loved his trademark khaki safari shirt, he wouldn’t wear it while scuba diving. He probably owned a wetsuit, don’t you think?

That’s crap!

We all know crap when we see it, but there used to be in this country a breed of insightful and literate persons who had the guts to call it when they saw it. Where are they? Where are the critics – excluding hypesters – of art and entertainment? The boot of political correctness has kicked them to the curb, and I say it’s time to get them back, and pay them well. The last bubbles of “American Culture” are circling the drain.