Guess what the top news story on all the US networks was last week. Not the wars in the middle east, or the war on terr’r, or the ubiquitous wake of Katrina, or starvation in Africa, or airline insecurity, illegal immigration, stem cell research, global warming, or the economy flopping around like a beached bass. It was the arrest, transport, airline dinner, purple shirt and stupid necktie, and tenuous confession of the purported killer of JonBenet Ramsey, 10 years ago.

This is not journalism, friends. It’s sensationalism. It’s an LA slow speed chase, writ large. I turned on the TV one evening, and CNN was absolutely engrossed with the taxiing of the airplane bringing Karr to California. The taxiing of the airplane from the runway to the terminal was the big story of the hour, live and in second by second detail. That’s worse than the day they followed Michael Jackson to the courthouse, with helicopters.

I have absolutely no doubt that if CNN and the other networks could do it, they’d show us John Karr having a good fart. Then they’d do half an hour with their intestinal gas legal experts, on what such a fine breeze portends for his chances at trial.

So, there’s a petition online, to send a message to the media asshats. The poor child is as dead as she’s ever going to be, and I hope whoever killed her rots in hell. But enough JonBenet, for crying out loud. This ain’t news. In the enduring words of Bill Murray, It just doesn’t matter … It just doesn’t matter … It just doesn’t matter.