Stopped by the store this afternoon. Needed, inter alia, some toilet paper. Actually it says Bathroom Tissue on the package. Is that better? A rose by any other name …

They had some big deals going on with this stuff, I’ll tell ya. Big stacks of it at the ends of the aisles — $6.99 for a huge lump; I guess that’s a pretty good price. But I just wanted 4 rolls. I was using one of the little hand-held baskets, not a cart. And I’ll tell you this, it’s practically impossible for a man to carry one of those baskets and look remotely heterosexual. Unless you drop it and kick it, you’re going to look gay.

The product I chose today is called Seventh Generation. The only brand I saw, except generic 1-ply, in a 4 roll option. It’s 100% recycled, hypo-allergenic, whitened without chlorine bleach, unscented, and has no dyes. It claims to save natural resources and reduce pollution, which are not normally things I think about when using such a product in my home; I’m usually pondering the vagaries of global power. But this motto caught my attention:

“In our every deliberation, we must
consider the impact of our decisions
on the next seven generations.”
— from the Great Law of
The Iroquois Confederacy

Whoa. It’s getting mighty deep now. Do you realize what this means? It struck me instantly, and with complete conviction: My toilet paper is more environmentally responsible than the present administration of the American government. Somebody find us a Slop Jockey Man, and see if he’ll run in ’08. Tell him it’s the Green ticket, not the brown.