… I got from my Mom this morning. Sorry Erik, but I just can’t pass up a bad lawyer joke.

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A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He gasps to the operator, “I think Bubba’s dead! What should Ah do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence…and then a shot is heard.

The guy’s voice comes back on the line, “Okay, now whut?”

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the Cop so he decides to have some fun at the Cop’s expense.

Cop says, “License and registration, please.”

Lawyer says, “What for?”

Cop says, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”

Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

Cop says, “Exactly! License and registration, please.”

Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Cop says, “The difference is the law says you have to come to a full and complete stop. License and registration, please!”

Lawyer says, “I’ll make you a deal. If you can show me the legal difference between slowdown and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not you let me go and no ticket.”

Cop says, “Certainly. Exit your vehicle, sir.”

At this point, the Cop takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the Lawyer. All the while, the Cop keeps saying…
“DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?”