So there I was, minding my own business and having a shave before going out in the world. And like a lot of guys, I don’t spend a lot of time staring at myself in the mirror. Like most red-blooded, all American, pickup driving, lovers of Craftsman tools and the NFL, I believe that mirrors have but two functions in the home: helping to focus the Chi and improve feng shui, and creating the optical illusion of greater passive space.  So imagine my surprise, as I’m grinding the stubble off my kisser, to find that the sides of my head are changing. I mean my naturally wavy brown hair is becoming insistently flecked with gray.

Oh dear. What a revoltin’ development this is.  Tell me, what in the Sam Hill am I supposed to do with this information? 

I’m only 44 years old. I am not by any means prepared to try looking distinguished. So I think for the moment, I’m going to dodge all questions from the media. And somebody out there needs to buy me a beer – a light beer – and explain this.