It turns out the rumor of the Chief Justice’s retirement can be traced to Robert Novak, who — according to Jon Stewart — is a “douchebag.” I wouldn’t trust the man to direct me to the men’s room, so the rumor is almost certainly wrong. And so says Jeff Jarvis on Buzzmachine.

Wait. I knew it was Novak when I posted it originally. Why did I do that? Must’ve been half asleep. Never mind.