I would like to thank the people of the Los Angeles area for thoughtfully considering that the roads, not to mention the nerves, of the Santa Barbara area were strained to the limit by recent storms. And thus for not zipping up here like you do every other 3-day weekend. It was good that you foresaw that, if you drove up here past the La Conchita disaster area, you’d have to drive back past it, and every rubbernecking idiot would have to slow down for a look. You knew that it would cause massive gridlock, not only on the freeway but on every significant side street through my little town.

If you guys from the LA area had decided a sunny drive up the coast, and a nice lingering look at the sight of our recent heartbreaking loss, were just what you needed, it would have been very hard on us. And we’ve been through a lot, as have you. And no one needs that kind of meaningless diversion right now anyway.

I don’t know which of you Einsteins first had the idea of cutting through Carpinteria, 3 miles above the site of the traffic jam, thinking you could get ahead of a few cars that away, but he’s an asshat. Everyone of you who did it crawled through our town, then got back on the freeway on the other end. You gained nothing, but you made things miserable for us who live here and just wanted to get home for dinner.

The one mile drive from my parents’ house to our local market, which usually takes two minutes, took 30 minutes this evening. The drive to my house from the market – usually about 3 minutes – was another half an hour. That’s longer that it used to take me to commute from Goleta, 10 times farther from home, in rush hour.

Let me just say this: We are not Disneyland up here. You’ve already got that down there. How about, just for a while, try Tucson for your weekend getaways, OK? Thanks for your support.